What 2010 meant to me

A friend of mine posted this on facebook so I thought I'd take a cue from her and do it too. 

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?

Moved to another city

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I make resolutions every year and never keep them...except, I think this was a sort of resolutions, to move to Toronto...I guess I kept that one.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

I know of some people who had babies, but no one really close to me. I wouldn't mind a few neices and nephews though *hint hint*

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Again, no one close to me but my Dad's step brother died just before Christmas.

5. What countries did you visit?

I went to the U.S.A

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

For the majority of 2010 I have not had a proper bed, like since April I've slept on mattresses on the floor. A visit to IKEA is happening soon. 

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Oh several... Fringe this year was very memorable, Seeing Wicked in August, moving in August, and my sister's wedding this December. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Make the move...it was a significant part of my year, everything leading up to it and so far everything post.

9. What was your biggest failure?

working at the gap *shudder*

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

Not really, I had a cold recently which sucked...I started 2010 still recovering from surgery but at that point it was nearly all healed anyway. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?

iphone 4

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

My Dad's 

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

She who must not be named...if you really want to know you can ask me privately

14. Where did most of your money go?

books, music, clothes, moving

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

MOVING

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?

Bed Intruder Song by The Gregory Brothers and Antoine Dobson

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? same, just different

ii. thinner or fatter? a little thinner

iii. richer or poorer? poorer 

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

hang out with friends...I don't know how that would have been possible but just as much as possible i wish i had

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

procrastinating

20. How did you spend Christmas?

At my uncle Roger's house with my cousins, Matt and Justin...it was nice.

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?

no...fingers crossed for 2011?

22. What was your favorite TV program?

Big Bang Theory, 30 Rock, HIMYM (the usual suspects) and BSG (i think i watched that this year)

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

Just the thief who robbed a bunch of us at Second City

24. What was the best book you read?

OH my, I read so many books, I have no idea.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?

Sarah and the Stanley's, Yo Yo Ma, Justin Beiber (laugh all you want, his stuff is catchy)

26. What did you want and get?

I got to see WICKED!!!! I got to move to Toronto, I got tickets to Billy Elliot for Christmas, I got a bunch of cool movies.  

27. What did you want and not get?

A puppy

28. What was your favourite film of this year?

Oh Lord, Scott Pilgrim was pretty great, so was The Social Network, I also really liked Score:A Hockey Musical. lol I know it's cheesy but it was fun.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

24 and I don't remember what I did. 

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

I'd be in school right now.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

It changes all the time...one minute I think I should dress more grown up the next minute I don't care.

32. What kept you sane?

Talking to my mom

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Jason Sideikis He's my favourite...MARRY ME JASON!!! lol 

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

Toronto Mayoral election even though I didn't vote

35. Who did you miss?

I miss my Winnipeg Peeps sooooo much!

36. Who was the best new person you met?

My Toronto peeps

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

I want to be a Billionaire so freaking bad!

I don't trust buttons

I don't trust buttons. I feel like each time I press one that I'm putting expectations on an inanimate object that I shouldn't.

When I get into an elevator I press the button of the floor I wish to reach. And then I wait. I often press it more than once, just to make sure it sticks. You know, like what if the circuit is faulty and it doesn't connect. Then I just hope that all the other components are working so I get up to my floor and not end up on some other floor. And that's just if the elevator doesn't stop working at all.

Crossing the street I am never sure if that dang crosswalk button does anything at all. Supposedly it does, but I have yet to find evidence it is really very helpful. This button also must be pressed at least twice to ensure the connection is made, if it is indeed doing the job I hope it is doing.

Even as I type, I have to keep watching the screen to make sure the buttons I press correspond with the letters in my mind and on the screen. You could argue that typing has more to do with the typist than the buttons (or keys as some high minded people call them). To them I say, not if when I press [s] and I get [i]...no its not actually happening but it could!

No I just don't trust buttons. Of course I'll keep pushing them like the drone I am, but I don't have to like it. For all you happy button pushers out there don't say I didn't warn you.

Day one of being a veggie

So I've officially started becoming a vegetarian. Not for the first time in my life I've done this.  I am really committed this time. For several reasons.

1. Meat is expensive
2. Most meats only taste good to me prepared really well. My dad is an amazing cook and I will miss the way he prepares things.
3. I'm moving. So point one and two make even more sense. I'll save money because I could eat raw fruit and veggies all day long and I won't be around my parents house to enjoy the well prepared meats my father cooks.
4. So many people I know have only gained health benefits by eating a well balanced vegetarian diet. My sister has been doing it most of her life and for the last couple of years more seriously. She looks great!
5. I feel bad for the animals that get killed for my pleasure, and I'm not enjoying it.  If point two is true and I am a humanitarian person at all then point five. It's just a little circle of life karma.

There you have it. Just my little attempt to make my body and my little bit of world a better place.
If any of my vegetarian friends out there have any favourite tips or recipes let me know!
As I get into it I think I might bring myself to go completely vegan. Heck I'm lactose intolerant anyway, so cutting cheese and milk sucks but isn't that big of a deal to me anyway.

Till next time...when I attempt freeganism!
ciao

EGOT - or the bucket list

So I'm chillin' here, watching the Tony's on youtube, post rehearsal with such a gratitude in my heart.

Yeah that's cheesy and cliche but let me explain.

I'm chosen to pursue the coolest career in the world.  To be a performer. You may notice that I didn't say actor.  I feel like that word is too narrow to describe what I'm aiming for.

So let me tell you about my bucket list.

I'd like to EGOT.
The EGOT is a series of the highest awards that those in the performing arts could aim for.
Emmy
Grammy
Oscar
Tony

I want to do it all. You may say I'm a dreamer...but I'm not.

I look forward to the day I've got an role in an NBC sitcom (heck I'll take CBS too)
I will stick it to The Man and give the best concerts.
The role of a life time, in a movie I'm proud of.
Then gracing the stage, living moment to moment 8 shows a week.

I left rehearsal today so excited. This year at the Winnipeg Fringe Festival I get to play the innocent neighbour of the Devil in a show I helped write and the sassy, and crassy gal in a wonderful quartet in a show I have adored from afar.

I feel so blessed to be doing this here in Winnipeg, and the natural next step is to move to a bigger city with more opportunities.
Chasing the EGOT.
Whats going to happen? Who knows.
But my gut says go.
I'll be lookin' at you through the glimmer of sparkly trophies.

Try a little honesty

 So apparently I did 10 posts in the month of January...the month of so-called "New Years Resolutions"
Well, you could say I failed at mine. I didn't continue posting each day or even each week. But that's gonna change.

HECK NO! I'm not making a new resolution to keep posting, keep writing, or any of that junk. NO

Rather, tonight God told me to be a light, and then He said that the light needs to shine so people can see it. Specifically, He told me to write. Tonight He spoke to me through the speaker at be-yond at Calvary Temple and a woman who prayed for me. While she was praying for me she mentioned using talents and abilities that I was afraid of, or afraid to use. Immediately I knew what that meant for me.

Now whether or not I'm super talented at writing or not is not the point, so keep you judgment to yourself. You will find as you read, that I have pretty good grammar. When my grammar slips it's usually for style or fun...ya know, on purpose...like this.  And I have impeccable spelling. Thank you spell check.

So anyway, back to being a light. Let me tell you about what God is doing in my life.

I quit going to the church, that I had been attending and serving at for eight years, in January. It was a hard decision. I had two options. One; stay committed to the job I was doing, or two; quit and go somewhere else. Well, I had to quit and go somewhere else. It wasn't because I hated my church or any of the people, the problem was me. I had been serving without a heart for God for probably at least six months. Sure I had moment of inspiration, but were they from God or just some personal satisfaction that I had because I did something cool? I don't know, because my heart was so far away from Him. I was doing what I had to do on Sundays and doing what I wanted to do the rest of the week. To say the least, a lot of what I wanted to do wasn't Christ-like.

I was committed to myself to make a change in my life. The first thing I had to do was get a little perspective. So I left my family's church and my church family to wander in the wilderness. I wanted to regain the passion and love for Jesus that I had before. My spiritual health was deteriorating and I wanted to reverse the effects. The change was marked, at least for me. I finally could be honest with myself about the state I was in. I knew exactly what needed to change and could finally take the steps to get there.

In the last four months I've had my share of struggles. As they say in The Lion King, "Ah, change is good...but it's not easy." I'm not going to get it right all the time, but each Sunday, without fail, God reveals a little something to me. Each Sunday I get a little stronger in my faith. My faith is simple, and the most challenging thing in my life. All I want is to be more like Jesus and everyday it's the hardest thing on my to-do list. Every decision I make reflects my faith. Everything I do I want to be like Jesus. It's the hardest thing in the world...especially after the fact. Sometimes I do or say something and then I pull a Homer Simpson. "Doh! That didn't make me more like Jesus."

I know its a process. One day I'll be home in heaven with Jesus and I will finish the transformation. Until then I'll work on bringing a heavenly attitude and lifestyle to earth. 2nd Corinthians 3:18 says "So all of us who have had the veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord - who is the Spirit - makes us more and more like his as we are changed into his glorious image." (NLT)


I was listening to Owl City today and some lyrics really struck me as to how I've been feeling lately but thank God for his mercy.

"I forget the last time I felt brave, I just recall insecurity
Cause it came down like a tidal wave, and sorrow swept over me
Then I was given grace and love, I was blind but now I can see
Cause I found a new hope from above, and courage swept over me"

A New Resolution

So I've been working on a few New Year's Resolutions, this blog being one of them.  No need to chastise me because I haven't blogged everyday like I said I wanted to. I've let myself off the hook and I feel a lot better because I'm still blogging and its almost February. As long as I keep writing for practise I am successful.

I stumbled onto my new New Year's resolution today. It was quite by accident. Well preventative but accidental anyway. I quite literally have eleven dollars to my name right now. Sure there is a few buck in the bank and by a few I am also being quite literal. Payday is in two weeks so I am forced to go on a budget diet.  I've been in this near penniless state for a couple of days now. I cling to my eleven dollars. I've been stressed out. I take a step towards Starbucks and am forced to reconsider my double latte.  In my mind I start to list all the things I want, small things, like a new CD, that magazine featuring C-list Celebrity  and fashion nobody actually wears. I won't even buy a small coffee from Tim Hortons.

As I focus on my dire situation and wonder how will I survive two weeks with less than a twenty in my wallet I am struck with the realization that I'm doing alright. This is not a tirade on how rich we are here in Canada and how bad people have it in Haiti and such. Yeah, thats true and I encourage you to be generous and remember others but that's not what this blog is about.

My rent is paid so I won't go cold sleeping outside. I have tons of food in my pantry and freezer and its all edible if I get off my ass and cook it. I've always been ahead of my bills and my electricity is still on. Without a vehicle to put gas in and enough bus tickets to last a month I'm covered when it comes to transportation. So what do I need money for?  Exactly.

Nothing.

That thought really sank in this afternoon after I left my doctor's office. I thought about my health and how I don't lack their either. Heck, my bus transfer was still good for the ride home. Drifting snow swirled all around me in the bus shelter where I stood. I was standing in my own little snow globe.  Nothing I can buy could compare with that free gift the world gave me. I knew that whether I had eleven dollars or eleven cents I would be alright.

Walking through the mall on my way to my next bus, I walked right through the food court, right past the donuts and sushi with a contentment in my heart for the frozen soup in my freezer. Passing Starbucks I made a friend smile which was more satisfying than any fancy cup of coffee. I stopped at the florist to bend down and smell the flowers and the memories that flooded my mind were more beautiful than anything that can be placed in a vase. Suddenly this cold, blizzardy day became glorious.

I walked home with Snow Patrol soundtracking my discoveries. I looked at the sky and thanked Him for everything He had given to me today. I said sorry for not seeing it earlier. He said that was okay, and that each lesson is learned when you learn it no earlier and no later. I wasn't ready any earlier.

It's getting dark out now but I can hardly tell because I feel like I'm basking in such a warm and beautiful light. You can say it sounds cheesy and you are probably right, but I think its cheesy because it's true.

So I've resolved to loose the control money has over my life because I like me better with eleven dollars than with eleven hundred.

Snow Patrol - Chocolate
This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive
All these places feel like home

With a name I'd never chosen
I can make my first steps
As a child of 25

Life at 60mph

Ever have your life go from 0 to 60 in what feels like no time flat?

So I recently had surgery and had to take three weeks off. What a great three weeks! For once I was forced to not do anything strenuous or stressful. I had to sit around, watch TV and in general 'just chill.' I discovered two things during that time.
1. I quite enjoy the leisurely life.
2. but I can't sit still for very long.

I've gone back to work now. The ole 40 hours a week is still the same old same old. Of course, I immediately jump back into auditions and rehearsals. Jeez Louise, soon I'm up to my ears in stuff to do and I have yet to update my calendar. Never mind that I have to start planning for February and then plan to move in March, all while rehearsing 3 and 4 times a week for various events.

Well, I guess I asked for it. This life is what you make of it and I plan on making the most of my time here. Especially if it is doing what I love.  Can't say I always love working, or even rehearsals but I'm happier doing it in the long run. It's better than being stuck at home surrounded by loud relatives (who are potentially reading this blog....I love you) or watching TV for 18 hours a day (and I love TV.)

Here's to bigger and better things coming my way. May work one day be replaced with fun stuff I get paid for!

grumble, grumble, grumble

I'm not blogging tonight...I had started one...it was really clever...then "Safari quit unexpectedly"...well screw you stupid internet...you're not getting a witty blog from me tonight...PFFFTTTHHHHTTTTT...so there...

The Awesome show...at least that's what they should call it

Why is The Big Bang Theory so awesome?

In my pathetic day yesterday I watched the all of the episodes that are out this season, all twelve, one after another. I just sat on the couch and laughed and laughed and laughed. I've also found that the nerdier I get, the more jokes I get thus increasing my enjoyment of the show. Even though I've watched each episode at least twice, often more, they just keep getting better and better.

I am really liking the addition of the female cast member. Melissa Rauch has been a breath of fresh air on the show. Who knows it she'll be on in the final episodes of this season, but all I can say is bring 'er back! She's funny and it's kinda nice to see Wolowitz not completely strike out.

I really liked the cylon toaster bit too. I didn't really get that joke until I started watching Battlestar Galactica. My mom started watching BSG too and my dad loves Big Bang so I'm sure they will both get a lot of enjoyment out of that bit...when they get to it next year sometime.

Well that's all I got for now. I think I need some writing prompts for my future blogs. If you have any suggestions on things I should write about, please, leave me a comment!
thanks
ciao

oops...

Okay so I kinda have already failed...
I haven't blogged in a few days...okay like 4 days.
Well I'm not going to let a little failure stop me from succeeding.

I've not been very motivated lately. I don't know how to get over that feeling. In fact, today I slept in late and barely had motivation to take a shower. I meant to get out and do some errands but I didn't. I didn't leave the house. Now I'm posting it on the internet how pathetic I am.

I did make an awesome breakfast in my lack of motivation. I even made lunch. Now it's 7:30pm and I still don't have much accomplished. I did register all my "get-rid-of" books on Book Crossing's Website.

I am committing to get some things done tomorrow. I will share them with you in hopes that I will feel shame and guilt for not getting it done. You, the world wide internets, will keep me accountable.
So my plan for tomorrow...
1. Release my books into the wild of Winnipeg.
2. Get coffee
3. Stop in at my work places
4. Go shopping for some much needed stuff for home
5. Get more coffee
6. Finish laundry
7. Watch Battlestar Galactica
8. Go to bed
That will be a full day with everything done.
What do ya say?
Think I can do it?
I think I can
I think I can
I think I can
             good night

Do The Math

I gotta post today because I have to post everyday for a month and maybe I'll have made a habit of writing.
Anyway, today is the first of, I'm sure, many, days when I don't really feel like writing.
So instead of a somewhat thought out blog about my day or reflections on time gone by this will be, instead, a slightly narcissistic paragraph or two of drivel.

I'm grumpy.
And here's the math...
8 hours of television in a car = grumpy and sore.
8 days with the same 8+ people who are related to you =  utter insanity.
Those 8+ people should just be glad that they are all still alive. Lord know I am.

That's harsh. I love my family even though they do drive me nuts.

Tonight once we got to Calgary, I had to take a drive alone and ended up at a Blimpie's of all places where I ate the worst salad and had a terrible smoothie. It was sad but definitely worth the peace and quiet.

Now it's back to Gilmore Girls and a hopefully very restful sleep.
I look forward to home and the lovely people I get to choose to be with and who choose to be with me!

thrilling