A New Resolution

So I've been working on a few New Year's Resolutions, this blog being one of them.  No need to chastise me because I haven't blogged everyday like I said I wanted to. I've let myself off the hook and I feel a lot better because I'm still blogging and its almost February. As long as I keep writing for practise I am successful.

I stumbled onto my new New Year's resolution today. It was quite by accident. Well preventative but accidental anyway. I quite literally have eleven dollars to my name right now. Sure there is a few buck in the bank and by a few I am also being quite literal. Payday is in two weeks so I am forced to go on a budget diet.  I've been in this near penniless state for a couple of days now. I cling to my eleven dollars. I've been stressed out. I take a step towards Starbucks and am forced to reconsider my double latte.  In my mind I start to list all the things I want, small things, like a new CD, that magazine featuring C-list Celebrity  and fashion nobody actually wears. I won't even buy a small coffee from Tim Hortons.

As I focus on my dire situation and wonder how will I survive two weeks with less than a twenty in my wallet I am struck with the realization that I'm doing alright. This is not a tirade on how rich we are here in Canada and how bad people have it in Haiti and such. Yeah, thats true and I encourage you to be generous and remember others but that's not what this blog is about.

My rent is paid so I won't go cold sleeping outside. I have tons of food in my pantry and freezer and its all edible if I get off my ass and cook it. I've always been ahead of my bills and my electricity is still on. Without a vehicle to put gas in and enough bus tickets to last a month I'm covered when it comes to transportation. So what do I need money for?  Exactly.

Nothing.

That thought really sank in this afternoon after I left my doctor's office. I thought about my health and how I don't lack their either. Heck, my bus transfer was still good for the ride home. Drifting snow swirled all around me in the bus shelter where I stood. I was standing in my own little snow globe.  Nothing I can buy could compare with that free gift the world gave me. I knew that whether I had eleven dollars or eleven cents I would be alright.

Walking through the mall on my way to my next bus, I walked right through the food court, right past the donuts and sushi with a contentment in my heart for the frozen soup in my freezer. Passing Starbucks I made a friend smile which was more satisfying than any fancy cup of coffee. I stopped at the florist to bend down and smell the flowers and the memories that flooded my mind were more beautiful than anything that can be placed in a vase. Suddenly this cold, blizzardy day became glorious.

I walked home with Snow Patrol soundtracking my discoveries. I looked at the sky and thanked Him for everything He had given to me today. I said sorry for not seeing it earlier. He said that was okay, and that each lesson is learned when you learn it no earlier and no later. I wasn't ready any earlier.

It's getting dark out now but I can hardly tell because I feel like I'm basking in such a warm and beautiful light. You can say it sounds cheesy and you are probably right, but I think its cheesy because it's true.

So I've resolved to loose the control money has over my life because I like me better with eleven dollars than with eleven hundred.

Snow Patrol - Chocolate
This could be the very minute
I'm aware I'm alive
All these places feel like home

With a name I'd never chosen
I can make my first steps
As a child of 25